i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
