I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
