It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
