After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
