I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize