She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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