i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I want her autograph on my taint
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
