just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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