he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
