bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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