I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
