i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My ass is underappreciated
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
