I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize