my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Randomize
