I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize