dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
so let's talk penis.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I don't deserve a penis
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
