the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
