she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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