we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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