TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
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