I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
