but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
