she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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