i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Holy sore nipples Batman
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
i out mim tonsoeep
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
