Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
