all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
