you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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