How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She's the barista slut.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize