About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
