he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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