mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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