You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
