just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
