I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
