You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
