I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
