And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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