Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
