I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
