did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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