We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
