When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
