i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
