I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
