You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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