its not stalking. its research.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
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