Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i barfeds in our rink
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
