I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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