You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
