I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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