remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm just crazy horny about you
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
