I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
