Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
