I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
